Daisy Lane Blog

It’s been ten years.  Ten long years since two people I know said, “Yes” to the question “Will you?”.  And look at the blessings life has brought!  The wonders and joys.

Life has been a wonder!  And filled with many blessings.  Ten years changes life entirely.  Ten years ago we were working on undergraduate degrees at BYU.  When we were married I had a year of school left and Alex had two.  Then came graduate school, a few years of teaching for me, babies, moves, careers.  It has been an amazing decade.

Anniversaries inevitably bring about reflection.  Remember life in the beginning?  Remember when we first met?   This section is primarily for my children: (Journals from years ago)

What first attracted you to him/her?

Jessica: I realized that I was very open with him.  I felt like I was the real me around him; that I was more myself when I was with him than when I was by myself or with anyone else.  I loved the way we could play off each other, I loved his sense of reality, I loved the way he looked when he laughed, and I liked that I could make him laugh.  There was something different about him and it didn’t take long to realize that this could be a good thing.  He will probably tell you that I was just another girl in a long line of contenders and that he liked me but didn’t think much more about it.  Well, it’s a good thing that one of us had the bigger picture in mind!

Alex: Aside from the fact that Jessica was attractive, there were a few things that sparked my interest in her.  Many of them were seemingly little things.  She acted sincerely excited to see me when I came by, or to talk to me when I called.  It made me feel important and I liked that.   One day, I went by her apartment after my construction job and had my hand full of slivers.  Jessica volunteered to get a needle and pull all of them out.  This happened long before there was any mutual interest between us and I was quite impressed.  This may have been the initial spark for me.  Jessica also had a lot of spunk.  She was full of energy and it was entertaining to be with her.  I was attracted to her liveliness.

When was your first date?

Jessica: I guess our technical first date was Preference, March of 2001.  It was a girls-ask-guys dance so Alex loves to say that I asked him out first.  We went with a big group of my friends and had dinner at a Chinese restaurant at the Riverwoods.  The dance was at Thanksgiving Point.  We had a lot of fun that night.  I remember wanting to kiss him but it didn’t happen then.

Tell us about your first kiss:

Alex: Relationships that begin fast tend to end fast.  Therefore, I intentionally wanted to hold out on kissing as long as possible.  However, I had also discovered that a girl’s interest could be peaked by keeping her guessing.  One particular evening at a group gathering in an apartment, I found a bowl of candy hearts left from Valentine’s Day.  I found one that said ‘kiss me’ on it.  I took the heart into the living room and tossed it across the room to Jessica sitting on the couch.  Then I just grinned and left the room.  Of course, I didn’t try to kiss her that night although I believe she expected it.

A short time later after studying late at the library together, I walked Jessica to her doorstep and was about to leave.  Apparently she had other plans.  She simply said, “Come here,” motioning me over with her head and a grin.  I knew what she was up to and had to find a way to escape.  Not only was I trying to delay the first kiss but I didn’t think an apartment doorstep on a random weeknight would make a very romantic, memorable moment anyway.  So I played dumb.  I simply asked, “What?” to which she motioned me forward again.  So, I came over and gave her a hug.  “No,” she said, “that’s too close.”  To this, I responded, “What are you talking about?”  Then the moment… In a very whiny voice (Jessica: I was NOT WHINY!!!  I was not!  Playful is the word he’s looking for!!!) she exclaimed, “Just kiss me please!”  I smiled but I wasn’t giving in.  I said, “When the moment is right.”  Then I left and went home. (Jessica: In that moment I knew the relationship was over.  Seriously over.  I was never talking to him again.  EVER.)

I really had good intentions in prolonging the time before our first kiss.  Truthfully, I wanted to kiss her but  I knew she was just trying to real me in.  Kissing meant commitment.  Regardless, the next weekend, I took her out to dinner and a movie.  Afterwards, we picked up dessert (that I had convinced my roommate to make earlier that day) and went out to a strip of land that jutted out into Utah Lake.  Jessica had specifically stated previously that she really liked brownies and ice cream so I had the brownies made especially for that reason.  After dessert, we danced to some music from the car radio with the water surrounding our little piece of land.  This was a much better moment.  So we kissed. (Jessica: Just for the record, I would like to say the moment before he kissed me I informed him that I wasn’t sure it was the right moment…..)

Jessica: About 8 months after Alex and I started dating, our relationship hit a turning point.  Were we going to get married?  Were we going to break up?   During that time, I got a strong answer to a prayer.  I knew that the Lord had affirmed my choice of eternal companion.  However, Alex was miserable, not ready to commit, and thoroughly unwilling to move on.  So after a “break” and a lot of long discussions, we broke up.  It was an awful time.  My heart hurt like it never had before.  It seemed to take a lot of effort to breathe.  However, I always felt like things would eventually work out between us.  I had always felt that way.  He just needed time to figure himself out.  It is a hard thing to let go of someone you love and let them figure things out for themselves as you watch and hope they’ll think the same way you do in the end.  It was a good thing that I had so keenly felt that we should get married.  Without that feeling the Spirit of God had given to me, I don’t know if I would have held out after Alex and I had broken up.

Alex: There is no question in my mind that breaking up was the right decision.  I needed that time to think for myself without any pressure, whether it was real or imagined.  I also knew it was time for me to start seriously attempting to understand this pivotal decision in life.  Up until this point, I had simply avoided thinking about it entirely.    I started reading general authority talks on dating and marriage.  I felt it was time to prepare for this big step, regardless of when or with whom I would be taking it.

During winter break, I went to our yearly family gathering for my mother’s family, and I was impressed by my cousin Aaron’s relationship with his wife.  I started to think that I might actually want to make this decision myself.  A short while later I received a very helpful revelation.  I received a clear impression that God would not tell me who to marry.  That was my decision.  I already understood that there was not one perfect person for everyone to marry.   God let me know that I had to decide whether or not I wanted to marry Jessica.  But He made it clear that if I did decide Jessica was right for me, he would support it.  I felt empowered by this understanding.  I really was making my own decision.  From this time, I began to feel confident that I really did want to marry Jessica.

How did Alex propose?

Jessica: Alex and I never officially started dating again after we broke up.  We continued to talk on the phone a lot and go out on occasion but we were not an item.  He had gone out with other people and I had been asked out but wasn’t interested in dating anyone.  Right before Christmas, I had gotten sick of Alex’s indecision.  I was tired of his games, and tired of feeling like I was unimportant to him.  So, I let him have it, told him to get his act together, and to make up his mind.  The next day, we both went home for Christmas break.  A few days later he called me at home and told me how much he had been thinking about me.  Suddenly, we were best friends again.  It seemed that over that break, we both knew that we would eventually get married.

It wasn’t until mid-February of 2002 that we got engaged.  Because the Winter Olympics were being held in Salt Lake City that year, BYU had a week free of classes so that students could volunteer for the games.  Alex and I enjoyed the Olympic spirit and then went down to Phoenix to visit his family for the rest of the vacation.  We had a great time.  On the night before our last night there, Alex took me to Scottsdale.  We went out to dinner at this really nice Caribbean restaurant down by the art walk.  After dinner we walked around and looked in some of the shops.  Then Alex told me that he was taking me to a special place for dessert, a place called Fountain Hills.  We drove around the lake for a minute and stopped to walk around.  Alex kept looking around and was walking quickly.  It seemed that he had spotted what he was looking for and we walked toward these people sitting at a table by the lake.  I was thinking, “Why are we walking to chat with these people we don’t know?”  However, once we got up to them, I realized that it was Alex’s sister Amy and her friend.  As soon as they saw us, Amy reached over to hit play on the cd player, and she and her friend ran off without saying a word.  At that moment I realized what was going on and I started to shake.   Alex asked if I were cold and I replied “Oh yeah, cold.”  Was I going to tell him that I was suddenly nervous?  No.  We sat down at the table and listened as our song played on the cd player- Edwin McCain “I Could Not Ask for More.”  I tried to take everything in, the lake swishing softly, the fountain going off in the middle, the candles, the cheesecake, the cutest boy in the whole world…whew.

After eating the cheesecake, Alex told me that he had an anniversary present for me, the one year anniversary of when we started dating.  I was thinking “OK, it really is an anniversary gift or…”  He told me how much he loved me, what an important person I was in his life, and then gave me a big wrapped box.  “OK”, I thought, “It’s either a little box inside a big box or it really is an anniversary gift.”  I opened it up and inside was a stuffed wolf (he thinks that he is part wolf) and around the wolf’s neck was a small box.  I looked at it and asked Alex if he was serious.  What can I say?  We had danced around this for a long time.  He said the ring was something I could wear until we picked out my real ring.  Then he got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him.  I don’t think I could ever describe the wonderful smile he had on his face.  It took me a few moments to find my breath and I replied “Yes.” and he put the ring on my finger.

We went back to his parents house and Alex announced, “Mom, Dad, I’ve just asked Jessica to marry me.”  Mom replied, “Well, it’s about time!” as Dad sat down on the bed in shock.  I called my parents and woke them up to tell them the news.  They knew, as Alex had called a few days before to ask Dad’s permission, and had already told all their friends. Later that evening at the Marsaw house, we laughed and talked about wedding plans.  As I watched Alex, he seemed to have a glow around him.  Gosh had he ever been that cute before?  I don’t ever think I’ll forget the way I felt when I knew that he really was the one I would marry and get to keep.

Alex: …… Jessica’s response, “Are you serious?”  I was serious.

Thoughts on your wedding day?

Alex: My bride looked absolutely beautiful.  The reception itself was in a very nice setting.  More importantly, I knelt at an alter inside a dedicated temple to God and committed myself to her for time and all eternity.  The significance of that event is forever impressed upon my mind.  I had married the one I loved.

Jessica: We were married on May 4^th, 2002.  The day seems much like a blur now.  It rained a bit and was unseasonably cold but most of that did not register to me.  I was very much in love with the man whose hand I held unceasingly that day.  Our sealing ceremony was not long, it actually surprised me at how short and simple it was.  I don’t remember if any counsel was given to us but I do remember the look on my husband’s face.

I didn’t see much of anything at the reception but I remember being very happy and thinking that things looked nice.  We exchanged rings, pushed cake in each other’s faces, danced to our song, tossed the bouquet, everything was like a dream. I remember thinking, oh yeah, this is my reception, almost as though I had forgotten.  We left the reception in a blur of exploding sparklers.  Later I discovered that they were supposed to be regular sparklers but the exploding ones were bought by mistake (and my going away dress has the burn marks to prove it – ha!)

And now, here we are.  Ten years down the road.

I think of the places we’ve lived:

Destin, Florida 2002 (summer work)

Provo, Utah 2002 (BYU)

Scottsdale, Arizona 2004 (internship)

Atlanta, Georgia 2004 (Graduate school)

Redlands, California 2005 (internship)

Atlanta, Georgia 2005 (Graduate school)

And now here, 2006.  Home. (Life)

I think of the places we’ve gone:  All over the USA from New York City to San Diego, Mexico, the UK, Italy, and now we’re heading to the Carribean to celebrate our ten year.

I think of the education we obtained and careers we built.

But most of all, I think of these beauties.